“Babylon Boys” by Cult Days

Babylon Boys

  Im tired of these bad bay boys. The type that if you texted them “I wish you would think of me sometimes”, they would text you back “haaaaa. ok” The type that if u tried to dump them via text as a publicity stunt, theyd ignore your mind game and just text you back “fine forget you then BITCH”. FML. its so beyond ludicrous, because these same bay boys probly wrote at least a dozen papers on 3rd world feminism in their liberal arts colleges and have a copy of the book “Assata” somewhere in their library altar. Ive seen the rivers of hell, and Too Shorts “blow the whistle” instrumental is playing all along the river Styx, EXTRA LOUDLY during those moments. Cerebrus isnt a three headed dog, hes a neglected west oakland Pitbull with the head of Pitbull. You have to know how to talk to a bay boy: Who, what, when. You know the drizzy song headlines? Thats exactly it. you have to talk to these bay boys in headlines only. or else they cant listen, and when you stare at them expectedly after your tirade, theyll say “my bad. i wasnt listening.” Bay boys dont like descriptions. Least of all they dont like to describe their feelings. “how was it?” “hella weird” “yeah? Like how” “I owno man… just hella weird” “but how tho?” “I just wasnt feeling it” The problem w bay boys is they wont get deep, but expect you to be deep to eternity. They will dissect you with questions and research you online, but they wont say a thing or reveal themselves. they are suspicious and cavalier, where bein deprecative is part of the self styled persona. You tell them in your best psychologist voice: You need to learn how to communicate better. their response: Im a bay boy play boy (said w a bored sniff and shoulder shrug). How is that a response? you demand. the response: My swags on a hundred.   how can you argue, when you cant even begin. moments like this, i think: my ancestors lived on the river Euphrates. We lived in Babylon for generations. Now, Im dealing with this? how.   but then i think about my grandfather…with his two wives and limited edition cadillac. and Im like honestly? Maybe this is evolution. Babylon boys were probably even worse.